Once upon a time there was a young lady named Hannah (I have it on good authority that this young lady is certainly not a child anymore). Hannah was very excited about Christmas because she had asked for all new, all expensive presents that every 'tween child, I mean, young lady that ever stands a chance of having friends or, more importantly, a boyfriend, would ever need. Only one thing stood in her way of the perfect Christmas....her overworked, overwrought, very evil mother. This awful person had done the impossible. She had LOST Hannah's stocking. Now, it didn't matter that the stocking was one of those red felt ones with the white fur trim that this same evil person had purchased at the exclusive and tawny store, Garden Ridge, for a ridiculous price of .99 cents. It didn't matter that Hannah's name had been very carefully applied in red glitter across the soft fur by the unsteady hand of her terrible mother. What mattered most was that Hannah and only Hannah (not her better-loved siblings) had no stocking for Christmas morning. What's an evil mother to do??? Well, this mother will be heading out into the fray to find a CVS, another very exclusive store, to purchase a stocking for her beloved daughter two days before Christmas morn so that it may be filled with all the wonderous things a stocking can hold....oranges and impossible-to-crack nuts. The conclusion of our story finds the harried but still evil mother grumbling about Christmas and the beloved but now slightly scarred daughter having something to discuss with her therapist when she gets older.
To be continued....
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